Bebo Norman-So afraid

Take my heart, and wring it out
In Your hands and watch it all collapse
Take Your Love, and drive it in
Into my soul, and never leave again…because

I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Looking for a savior, looking for a home
I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Looking for a savior, Lookin for a home
So don’t leave me here alone

All Your hope, and all my pride
All this time to watch it all collide
When everyone seems to say, “You can work it out”
Under my skin, I’m shaking and I can’t get out

So don’t leave me here

This is not what You’ve said; it’s all in my head
And I throw my anger at You instead
So don’t give up on me, I want to believe
That You’ll never leave me, but…

I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Looking for a savior, looking for a home
I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Deep into the ages, deep into the fold
I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Looking for a savior, looking for a home
So don’t leave me here alone

One year down…

My first year as a school counselor is over. There have been many things that have occurred this year. Many lessons have been learned. I have made new friends and gained a new perspective on what I want and who I am. The students have helped validate a battle I must fight. I have an understanding even in a rural town people are able to see me as me. Yet, I have also been reminded others cannot see much expect who I love. Either way I will continue to remain true to who I am and remind myself it does not matter if my love is seen as normal.

I have no idea what will happen in the year to come. In many aspects I do not want this next year to come. I have many reservations. Yet, I can not prevent time from passing. It will continue. I wonder what I will and will not have control over. I don’t feel I will have much control at all. For the past few weeks I have tried to “let it go” as the motto of our front office and not stress my future. I don’t have the answer or solution. However, I remain hopeful God will find a way. Maybe He can overlook my wrong doings and forgive me…to see my intentions…to see the beauty…just maybe He will give me my heart’s desire…our hearts’ desire. Time will tell. It is out of my hands. Until then I will continue on my current journey taking a risk for my as what I see as my chance of a lifetime…as my gift. For what it is worth…those are my thoughts…a few of my pieced together thoughts.